And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
