Already got asked if we're dating
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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