After last night, I could never be a politician.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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