I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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