Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
