Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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