this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
