Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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