what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
