super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
