Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
