I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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