I wannas sexs uuuuu
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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