4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
