Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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