I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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