He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
