This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
