just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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