do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
