You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
