I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize