Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
