Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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