Duck Duck Cougar?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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