I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
