I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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