I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
