How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
