Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
