so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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