I feel great
I just peed on a car
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
