im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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