My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I touched a dick in church today
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
