That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
