dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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