he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
