Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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