i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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