You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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