Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
