I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
how drunk are you?
Several
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
