i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We don't watch enough power rangers
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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