$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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