just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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