At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You're like the curious george of whores
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
