He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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