i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
