Having a random hookup so left but love u
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
