Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize