I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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