You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
