It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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