Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
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