i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
