either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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