Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
