Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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